Ryan Frantz
Untitled Sci-fi Serial Part 2

Part 1

These Uplinkers know something. That’s why I’m here. Some of these fuckers are rich. Insanely rich. A few of them made boatloads in the 20s selling AI solutions. This was back when folks hoped AI meant “artificial intelligence” but in practice was simply predictive text. Customers caught on and didn’t want those services anymore. So many companies offered AI but most folks were locked in to the first vendor they had tried; the costs to transfer data out of one solution to another were astronomical, on top of the cost and time to have all that data run through different language models. The dopes that ran these companies just kept bilking their customers.

Still, these same dopes periodically promise real artificial intelligence is “almost here.” And it never arrives, despite them trotting out some benign example of “AI” that solves a problem no one actually cares about. See, everyone knows there is something about intelligence we can’t describe. We can’t quantify it and so we can’t digitize it. Except today, and for the past several days, supposedly we’re finally seeing artificial intelligence. And it’s in that goddamned “thinking” 3D printer everyone is freaking out about.

Joaquin is exiting the elevator. Why is he walking like that? Tom Cruise can write dramatic running into his movies; Sam Rockwell does his goofy dances. Joaquin looks like a toddler tripping over his feet, inches from disaster. And he’s got a shit-eating grin on his face.

That can only mean one thing: we’re in!