Ryan Frantz
Early April Fool's
I like practical jokes. Sometimes I play jokes on my staff because I know they perceive me as the stiff, always serious manager type (they didn't know me before I became the IT manager).

Two years ago I wrote a short bash script and set it to execute for a few sysadmins after they logged in to one of our systems. I then created fake support tickets claiming that the host wasn't functioning properly and made sure to assign those tickets to the unsuspecting sysadmins. I had a few laughs watching them watch their screens as it appeared that some unruly malware was operating before their eyes.

It was even funnier because I made a point to highlight the fact that the host had been "hacked", something no self-respecting hacker would ever do. Still, some of my sysadmins dropped a few bricks until I assured them they were safe. They then took delight in helping me scare other sysadmins.

For the upcoming April Fool's Day, I'm posting the code I wrote.

NOTE: The signal names that I trap may not be correct for your platform. man kill is your friend.

CAVEAT EMPTOR: Don't use this code for your own enjoyment unless you know what you're doing. I have no sympathy if you "hack" yourself. But I will have a few laughs about it. 

#!/bin/bash

#
# aprilFools - pretend to be a haX0r script and freak out the TS folk... -ryanfrantz 3/30/2010
#
 
control_c() {
  # run if user hits control-C
  echo -en "\n\n!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
  echo -en "\nWHAT?!!  You can't STOP this!  It's inevitable...\n"
  echo -e "\nyouve been haX0red by robotech yashimaru autonomous nanobots!! 1337!\n"
  echo -en "!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\n\n"
} # end control_c()
 
control_z() {
  # run if user hits control-Z
  echo -e "\nyouve been haX0red by robotech yashimaru autonomous nanobots!! 1337!\n"
  echo -en "\nSILLY! You cant even PAUSE this... Its still gona happeen...\n"
} # end control_z()
 
spinner(){
	maxCount=$1
	sleepTime=$2
	count=1
	while [ "$count" -le "$maxCount" ];do
		echo -n ".." ; sleep 0.1
		echo -n ".." ; sleep $sleepTime
		echo -n "/" ; sleep $sleepTime
		echo -n "-" ; sleep $sleepTime
		echo -n "\\" ; sleep $sleepTime
		echo -n "|" ; sleep $sleepTime
		echo -n "/" ; sleep $sleepTime
		echo -n "-" ; sleep $sleepTime
		echo -n "\\" ; sleep $sleepTime
		echo -n "|" ; sleep $sleepTime
		echo -n "."
		count=`expr $count + 1`
	done
	return 0
}	# end spinner()

endlessSpinner(){
	sleepTime=$1
	while [ true ];do
		echo -n "/" ; sleep $sleepTime
		echo -n "-" ; sleep $sleepTime
		echo -n "\\" ; sleep $sleepTime
		echo -n "|" ; sleep $sleepTime
	done
	return 0
}	# end spinner()


chr()
{
   ## convert number[s] to ASCII character[s]
   printf "%b" `printf '\x%x' $1 2>/dev/null`
}

genFakeKey() {
	maxCount=$1
	count=1
	while [ "$count" -le "$maxCount" ];do
		# use the built-in $RANDOM variable to generate pseudo-random integer and convert to ASCII
		chr $RANDOM + $RANDOM + $RANDOM + $RANDOM
		sleep 0.1
		count=`expr $count + 1`
	done

}	# end genFakeKey()

# trap keyboard interrupt (control-c) and job stop (control-z)
trap control_c SIGINT
trap control_z SIGTSTP
 
# main() loop
while true; do 
	echo -e "\n\n\t\tyouve been haX0red by robotech yoshimaru autonomous nanobots!!\n"
	echo -e "\t\t\twe pwn u luser!!! l337!!\n"
	echo -e "+ accessing intertubes (get pkg): \c"
	spinner '5' '0.1'
	spinner '7' '0.5'
	spinner '13' '0.001'
	echo "done"
	echo -e "+ preparing pkg: \c"
	spinner '5' '0.1'
	spinner '7' '0.5'
	spinner '13' '0.001'
	echo "done"
	echo -e "+ registering...done"
	echo -e "+ instaling payload: \c"
	spinner '5' '0.1'
	spinner '5' '0.5'
	spinner '15' '0.001'
	echo "done"
	echo -e "+ loading scret key: \c"
	genFakeKey 25
	echo -e "\n+ finding depencies: \c"
	spinner '5' '0.1'
	spinner '5' '0.5'
	spinner '15' '0.001'
	echo "done"
	echo -e "+ opening irc channel (irc.kirin.jp) for commands: \c"
	spinner '15' '0.1'
	spinner '8' '0.1'
	echo "done"
	echo -e "+ 0-day backdoor: \c"
	spinner '3' '0.1'
	spinner '2' '0.1'
	echo -e "\n+ listen for traffic: \c"
	endlessSpinner '0.1'
	echo

done
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